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Mon, May 12 2008 

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Published May 03, 2008 08:09 pm -

Heck with the R-word; start thinking the D-word


By David Gerard
Sketches From Three Rivers

If you’re going to think something bad will happen, you might as well think the worst.

My older brother called me last week and said he’s been reading up on economic depressions in U.S. history so that he’s prepared for the next one — which, he said, could be soon.

America experienced economic depressions in 1837, 1873, 1893, and of course, the Great Depression that began officially in 1929 and lasted into the 1930s.

We’re not even officially in a recession, but my brother’s already thinking depression.

Our mother’s responsible for that. She grew up in the Great Depression, and she was always bragging about how bad it was.

Some people aren’t happy until they’re the most miserable people in the world.

My sisters and brothers and I complained that we didn’t have as many toys as our friends, and our mom would tell us that when she and her brothers and sisters were growing up in the Great Depression, all they had to play with was one rubber ball.

When we complained about having to eat bologna sandwiches from lunch sacks instead of buying meals in the cafeteria, she told us how she and her siblings often took brain and tongue sandwiches to school and sucked on chicken necks and pig knuckles at the supper table.

When we complained about school, she reminded us her education ended with the eighth grade because her family needed her to work. She made 10 cents an hour in the tomato fields.

She told us we were soft and spoiled, and if another depression came, we would not survive.

She was right. I’m pampered. After talking to my brother and thinking about it, I wouldn’t make it through a depression.

If we have a depression, will they have express lanes in the soup and bread lines? I won’t go unless they have express lanes.

I don’t mind rice being rationed, but I will be very upset if they start rationing Honey Buns.

If we go into a depression, does that mean those million-dollar game shows, like “Deal or No Deal,” will end? Those models with the cases appear to be very pleasant, hardworking young women. I’d hate to see them out of work.

And what about reality shows? What are we going to have? “How Poor Are You?” A game show in which economically challenged families vie for the most miserable? Too bad my mom’s not around. She’d win.



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