By Barrett VanLandingham
April 29, 2008 06:15 pm
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Parenting seemed so much easier before I became a parent. It’s that time of year when good times are in the air. Spring and summer parties, outings, and events abound.
Having said that, another Fort Gibson Prom is already in the history books. And by now, a lot of parents and students who strive for a moral lifestyle have no doubt been wondering whether their money was well spent.
Students in Fort Gibson spent between $100 and $1000 on going to the prom depending on the cost of their tux, dress, transportation (car, limo, or helicopter), and where they go out to eat beforehand, flowers, and $100 for a ticket, or $200 if you’re taking a date (unless they sold candy to reduce their ticket cost).
I spoke with school officials beforehand about this year’s prom. They said they would do their best to make sure it was better in terms of students’ behavior than in past years. As a youth minister, I have spoken with parent sponsors and students over the last six years. Each year, I receive the same reports. “It’s expensive and immoral.” Others say, “It’s fun.”
This year’s comments regarding behavior have been all good, a stark contrast from previous years. One school official said this year’s graduating class has been a positive example all year, and did an outstanding job of setting a positive tone for the prom. He said the underclassmen followed the example of the seniors, and that made for a great prom. Plus, there was a well-supervised after-party at the old gym that provided fun entertainment including giant inflatables and a hypnotist.
A couple of years ago, one chaperon said he couldn’t believe “how nasty some of the kids were dancing.” School officials say chaperons make their presence known, but some kids are going to misbehave on the dance floor regardless. And the slow dances are not the problem anymore. Chaperons say it’s the other kind of dancing where students are all over each other if they’re not kept apart. School officials say that’s why we have only one dance the entire school year.
Chalk it up to good parenting, good luck, good DNA, good teaching, good prayer, but whatever it is, the problems associated with past proms are not at all representative of this year’s event, according to the adults and students I spoke with afterwards.
Spiritually speaking, I am not sure that going to the prom is any worse (and it might be better) than going to other activities where immorality occurs. For instance, pro-sports events where beer is free flowing and belligerent fans are usually within a few seats away (even if they haven’t been drinking!). Which is worse: dirty dancing, low-cut dresses and lust, or drunken and belligerent sports fans? One event exposes us to the sins of drunkenness and loss of self-control. The other exposes us to the promotion of sexual sins. How about taking your family to eat at restaurants that serve alcohol? Even people who oppose immoral dancing often find themselves at restaurants where our kids get to watch people knock back one pitcher of beer or margaritas after another.
So, what’s a Christian parent to do? Good question! It depends on their parenting philosophy. Some allow their kids to participate in an activity so they can test their faith and see close-up “what goes on” as long as they maintain Christian values. Other parents will provide an alternative so their children will not be tempted. Still other parents will state their disapproval, but tell their kids to do what they want.
One thing is for sure. Parenting begins at birth, not on the day of the prom, the date, the movie, the water park, and not when we send them off to college. If we haven’t taught our kids how to apply Christian values by the time they’re old enough to be tempted, we’re in for a rocky road. But that doesn’t mean we can ever stop being Christian parents. We have a responsibility to continue setting the example and offering biblical advice to our children all the days of our life, even though we ourselves have messed up and continue to make mistakes. Our children need to know that after they fail, we will be there to dust them off and help put them back on the right path even though there still may be consequences to deal with.
Make no mistake about it, there is a lot hanging in the balance of our decisions. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The apostle Paul has this to say, “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Philippians 2:12-13).”
May God bless our efforts as we allow God’s Spirit to work within us as we seek His guidance in making decisions.
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