Being engaged in the daily lives of his children is one of the most important things Dillard said he does.

“My wife and I are very involved with their activities and their sports,” he said. “That sets an example, so they can pass that on.”

Just being available to listen to his sons’ problems is a simple, but crucial practice.

“Sometimes you don’t even have to answer; just listening shows them that you care,” Dillard said. “That goes back to Christ, but you have to do it by setting an example.”

Although being a father can mean hard work and sacrifices, Dillard said he has been rewarded.

“To have your child come up and ask you, ‘Dad, I need help with this problem,’” he said. “To see your child become an asset in society, to see your child show compassion, to see your child be a giver, to see your child be an encourager.

“Lori and I are proud to be told our sons have been seen helping someone in without being told to. Just to watch them grow is a tremendous reward.”

Dr. Lana McClain, a prevention manager for the Cherokee Nation’s Families First program, said there is an ongoing societal change away from the idea that a father’s role is restricted to earning money and being the disciplinarian.

“More men are involved in an active role in the care of children,” she said. “It’s critical that children have a good relationship with both parents. It’s the father who influences self-esteem, academic performance and healthy development of sex roles for sons and daughters. That’s what the research shows.”

Families First visits families with problems and teaches parents ways to have a better relationship with their children.

“The father can be involved not only in discipline, but also in play and teaching,” she said. “If the child is very young, the father can help by bathing the child, reading to them, or showing them how to count their fingers and toes. It’s called ‘parental warmth.’ It means hugging, kissing, and telling your kids you love them.”

McClain said parents who acquire these relationship skills enjoy more bonding.

“Awareness breeds understanding and unity, and promotes strong family ties whether the father is married to the mother or not,” she said.

Helping children