Dang. The wrong mammals are going extinct.

This past week, a conservation group released the results of a worldwide survey reporting one in four mammal species in the wild faces imminent extinction. Scientists also reported that half of those species are on the decline.

Of course, we know the primary problem — us. We humans remake natural habitats to suit us, and we don’t much care if it puts some other animal out of existence.

Instead of those animals going extinct, how come the following mammals couldn’t suddenly disappear?

• The babbling weatherman — I don’t like my TV programs interrupted by three hours of “You might get hit by a tornado.” A little storm passes through the area, and we have half a dozen stations trying to outdo each other in potential destruction and devastation. No wonder when the alarm sounds, everyone goes outside and dares lightning to strike them.

And I want just the weather. I don’t want Dr. Phil or Kathy Lee gibberish. Spare me the “Your weather today ...”

It’s not my weather. I didn’t have anything to do with it. Three-fourths of the time, I’m not happy with it. Instead of spending money on bad weather predictions, let’s spend it on saving a worthwhile mammal, like the African wild ass.

• The puffed-up movie idol — The global financial market is on the verge of collapse, and what does Yahoo! put among the top of Thursday’s stories? “Winslet: ‘DiCaprio sex scene was weird.’”

This story was about how strange Kate Winslet felt to do a love scene with Leonardo DiCrapio and have it filmed by Winslet’s director husband, Sam Mendes.

You know what? I don’t care who’s monkeying around with who in Hollywood. If I want to hear about animal sex, I’ll watch Animal Planet and see what’s happening with the Central American squirrel monkey.

• The pompous political pundit — This mammal is as tiresome as the babbling weatherman, but more obnoxious and uglier. The ugliest are on radio and in the papers. If I want to spend time with ugly, I’ll do it with the tube-nosed fruit bat.

• The common American Joe Six-pack — This is supposed to be your average American male humanoid, who comes home from work, quaffs a beer and falls asleep in his armchair. Look for more energy from the maned three-toed sloth.

• CEO swine — These are the animals who run their companies into the ground, get taxpayer money for a reward, and then spend $430,000 of it at a posh California resort. A warty pig doesn’t get as filthy as these guys.

• The stiff-backed senator — Hardheadedness is not a character trait to be proud of, but we have senators who think they’re always right, even one who proclaims global warming is a hoax as the Arctic ice melts around him. A baboon has more sense.

• The great folksy politician — Early in American history, Davy Crockett was a folksy, thorn-in-the-side congressman, and people loved him. Politicians still try to emulate him, but unfortunately, they aren’t half as smart or entertaining.